(I didn't create this, but I thought it's a good look at a typical abusive parent.)
My Dad Hit Me Again
So I had to stay after school for a stupid NHS officer election meeting. But it only lasted about half an hour, so I called my dad to pick me up around 3:00. He said he couldn't, so I said "Please pick me up in the front of the school at 3:30."
At around 3:40 I went back in and called him again. He said "Oh, traffic is really jammed so I'll probably be there in 5 minutes." So I went outside again and waited for 10 minutes while listening to "Name of Life" from Spirited Away.
I waited........and waited..........the sun was really burning my eyes. Eventually 4:00 rolled around and I still didn't see his car. The sun was really starting to burn, but I stood in full sight on the front steps of my school, waiting for my dad. By 4:20, I went inside to use the school phone. The moment I dialed the number, I heard his voice screaming "Where the hell are you? Where the hell are you? I've been waiting for you for 40 MINUTES!!!" His voice just kept getting louder and louder, I could feel his voice right next to my ear.
M: Um....I've been waiting in the front of the school since 3:40" D: "NO YOU HAVEN'T!!!!!!! I'VE BEEN THERE SINCE 3:30. YOU'RE A LIAR. I'VE BEEN WAITING OUTSIDE THE BACK FOR 40 MINUTES. YOU THINK.........
By then I just hung up, slamming the phone back into the slot and storming the way out of the office (I did thank the custodian very politely though.) It was just the fact that I was FURIOUS that he was so angry at me. I told pick me up in the FRONT of the school 5 fucking times.............three times the previous night and two times today.
The reason he fucking forgets is because he's a damn sloth and sleeps too much. It just amazes me how lazy he was not to just use his CAR and drive to the front to look for me. So of course I have to walk to the back of the school. I see his car and as I approach it he bellows at me, "HURRY UP!" I open the back car door and get in, but then he screams at me, "SIT IN THE FRONT!!!" He then does something he used to do to me a lot when I was younger. He hits me. And not just a tap or small punch to the shoulder. He really hits me......slams his fist against my head. I'm already closed off; my insides, however, are fuming hot steam. He continues his conversation "WHERE WERE YOU? I WAITED IN THE BACK FOR 1 HOUR! WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU?"
M: "I was in the front of the school." D: " "NO YOU WEREN'T." Slams his hand against my face this time. I hit the window. M: Speechless....don't want to get hit again D: "YOU WERE NOT IN THE FRONT. I CHECKED THERE TWICE SINCE 3:30 AND I NEVER SAW YOU." M: "Well, what times did you check?" My voice is slowly rising. D: "AT 4:00 AND 4:15. YOU WERE NOT THERE!!!" M: "Well I was there since 3:30 waiting on the front steps." And this was the absolute truth; I was melting my face off in the summer sun, waiting in plain site of the stairs of my school. He should've saw me. D: "YOU WEREN'T THERE!!!" Slaps me again, hard. M: "Please stop hitting me." And of course, he hits me again, this time the hardest.
For the next 5 minutes I say nothing to him, and he just mouths on about how he had to wait forever on me, how I "wasn't in the front" (repeated at least 10 times), how much of a liar I was, and how I just had to admit I was talking to my friend.
Aside from the recurring phyical abuse, that's one thing I hate about my dad. If he's right, then you must be wrong and admit some ridiculous accusation to appease him. "Oh, you're a liar. You MUST have been talking to your friends. Just admit it." If you don't admit it, he'll keep screaming or hit you. He's the exact equivalent of a torturer; if you don't give them the info they want, they'll hurt you. It's just very sad that he has to resort to hitting his children because he's mad. Because poor him had to wait for SO LONG, and the only way to make good out of this situation is to scream and get angry and slam people against fucking car windows.
Eventually it cooled down; the awkward and angry silence took over. When we got back to the house, I said "Thanks for driving me home" in the most weak voice ever to shame him for his actions. I got out, and while I was walking behind him he entered the house first and slammed the door as hard as he could behind him. What an ass.
I'm in my room now typing this story. I was originally going to get my permit today, after he picked me up from school, but now I can't even look at him, let alone get in the same car as him. He's a rotten bastard who should learn to think through what he committed to, and not sleep like a fucking cat and learn to listen better. Just a few minutes ago, he asked me if I wanted to go to get my permit. His tone was a lot different.......barely any anger, kind of just plain. Probably cause he realized how crappy of a father he was. We've had these problems before, and one time it got so bad I said I didn't want him as a father anymore. That I didn't need him as a father because he was just a jackass (that's what I said) and that he could never be a good father. I was almost going to mention the fact that mom almost left him because he's such a jerk, but I thought that'd be way way tooo harsh. But yeah, I can tell he kind of feels bad for what he's done. Which in NOOOOOOOO way means it's okay now. No. He never learns. He never learns that you can't just scream at his children and hit them. He needs to handle situations calmly without using so much agression and physical abuse. Would it kill him to just ask me what actually happened and work things out, without using accusations in every sentence?? I'm pissed right now........and my moral senses are tingling right now. But this is not meant to be a moral debate; I know what I must eventually do for my dad, and for this situation. I only wanted to document my experience with domestic abuse and all the crappy emotions that followed with it. And because I hope I look back on this and remember not to be the father that my own dad was to me. P.S. My alternate diary has been confirmed as Rikkuit_Teen
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