Day 22b: Laura, Adam, and the Pink Pen

Day 22b: Laura, Adam, and the Pink Pen So Laura is a good friend of mine who is OBSESSED with Adam Lambert. She votes for him nonstop for 2 hours every week on American Idol; she even goes online and looks up all his performances on youtube. And the weirdest thing of all is that she has a picture of Adam as a 8th grader as her phone's wallpaper. Okay then........ Anyways, I always lie and tell her that I'm not really interested in him. Which is kind of true, cause I don't really find him particularly hot. I don't even find Kris Allen very cute either. Idk. But, no matter, I brought this up because I think how controlling society has become on me. I mean, now, I can't even admit I like Adam Lambert just as a singer cause it'll make me look gay/less manly. Aren't I pathetic???

I mean, a similar thing happened the other day. I was on the bus signing her yearbook, and since I liked her very much I wrote her a VERY VERY long note (close to a full page, 5 font.) And all the guys around me were staring at me, looking at me funny, until one of the guys was like "Wow, dude, why do you write so much?" Everyone was looking at me, and I felt EXTREMELY awkward, so I just quietly said, "I just do." It was a lame answer, so everyone just kept watching me write this really long letter (which was in pink ink too since she gave me a frickin pink pen!!!!.........) Eventually I cut the letter short, not because it was too long, but just cause I couldn't handle the pressure around me . The feeling that everyone around me would suspect I'm gay if I kept writing this endless letter in pink ink to a girl friend of mine. My point is, I feel trapped in this tight mold society calls "masculinity." How any guy who differs from this mold, either by wearing anything pink or not playing sports, gets an cold shoulder from all the manly guys around them. I can't wait till I get to college, where then I can come out without worrying about my parents or getting bullied in school. And next time Laura, DON'T GIVE ME A PINK PEN TO WRITE WITH!!!!!!