Yeah, I've noticed that my previous blogs have been all about homosexuality and crushes, but I can't help it. Sry. So anyway.... ----------------------------------- DO YOU EVER DREAM ABOUT A CRUSH? Do you ever find yourself daydreaming about someone? You don't have to be gay to know what it feels like to fall in love with someone, to think about talking to them or laughing with them, spending time holding their hand while walking along a sunset beach. It's all too common in my life. One of my most frequent romantic fantasies (that are not at all sexual! just romantic) occurs whenever I lie on my bed and hug my blankets. I always picture in my mind this one guy from my school hugging me tightly as if we were married. It's soooooooooooo weird. And sry if I come off as perverted or strange or desperate, but I'm not. A lot of my guy friends always tell me about their crushes, which in all honesty are all lot more "sexual" in terms of what they think about. However, I came to think about why my mind always wanders towards these thoughts, and I came up with the very simple answer; I enjoy them. I know you guys do too. I know that I'm not the only one who feels a little gitty gitty whenever you think about your crush, am I right? Whenever I have these moments of passionate daydreaming, I can't help but continue the fantasy. Cause everytime I do, I feel extremely happy, the kind of happy you feel when you feel like you're life's perfect. And then reality comes sinking in, showing me that I'm just a quiet, oddly-shaped high school teenager whose main goals in the hallway are to keep to myself and look down. And no way would some hot, athletic guy with a killer smile dare come up to me and ask me out, assuming he was gay. Anyway, does anyone else have these dreams about getting hugged tightly in bed? Or am I the only one? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- MY COMMON IDOLS (who I looked up to when I grew up) Ken from Digimon: So when I was young, I used to obsess over the show Digimon. I began watching season 2 of the series and it was soooo AMAZING! I'm serious, it's like ten times better than pokemon. Well anyways, it's about these children who have to save the world using their little "pets" called Digimon. Every character is the stereotypically brave child who must conquer the world, so as a little boy, I always wanted to be like the hero of the episode. I remember even up in 5th grade, I used to dream that I was the tall, sofisticated Ken (the one with blue hair) because he was always so cool. Even today, I look back and see how I might have idolized him.
Cloud Strife: I also idolized Cloud Strife from Final Fantasy VII (coolest haircut ever....), probably cause I played that game so much. I used to wake up at 6:00 A.M. on Saturdays as a little boy just to play this game, and then finish around 12:00. It was addicting, and so it kind of grew on me. Not to mention the fact that Final Fantasy VII is quite possibly the best game I have ever played. Not only is the gameplay good, but the story is so EMOTIONAL!!! It's what really spurred on my romantic side in later years, cause the characters all have this extremely extremely deep quality about them that isn't like some 2D Ratchet character that attracted me to them. The game pretty much excels at everything, but mainly storyline. The characters and story fit flawlessly into each other, and I really began to fantasize about being Cloud.
(guy in the center wearing black who has spiky hair and a huge sword)
Aeris Gainsborough: However, as I grew older, I game to think of Aeris more, the other main character in the game. She is the coolest female character ever, with these funky spells that pretty much hook anyone who's playing. She is quiet, collected, but most of all, she comes off as an angel. Like literally, whenever she enters the screen, really soft music starts to play. And her innocence really attracted me to her, but not in a loving way, only in an admirable way.
Ashitaka: Well, in middle school, I saw the Japanese movie Princess Mononoke, which involved this protagonist Ashitaka. He was also the stereotypical athletic, strong, brave teenager who had to save the world. Yet, he was a lot more in depth than the Digimon show (of course) and he came off as a very likeable person. As a result, I always dreamdt that I was like him when I was in middle school.
Rei Ayanami/Asuka Langley Soyru/John Rzeznik: In high school, I mentioned losing a lot of my friends, and so like any lonely teenager, I started to think of a fantasy life where I had tons of friends. Well, if I could have any three friends, I imagined they would be Rei Ayanami from Neon Genesis Evangelion, Asuka Langley Soyru from Neon Genesis Evangelion, and John Rzeznik from the Goo Goo Dolls. I picked them cause I also became obsessed with Neon Genesis Evangelion (which btw is my favorite show ever) and because the Goo Goo Dolls are my favorite band in the whole world. WARNING: if you haven't noticed, I am a bit out of the norm. But anywho, I always imagined them with me whenever I was lonely; they would be the smart, athletic, friends who always called my name from down the hallway of my high school so that everyone would turn to look at me and see what great friends I had.
(Asuka= Red Hair Rei= Blue Hair)
John Rzeznik, the nicest and coolest singer I know
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WHAT ABOUT YOU? Yeah, so basically it started from me idolizing people for their courage to daydreaming about an alternate life to mask my current pain. Isn't that great?
But honestly, I still do have my idols. These are people who I think are heroes by the way they act, and even though some of them aren't real (aka Cloud Strife), they still give me something to imitate and that is their courage. Sometimes, though, it doesn't have to be courage. Sometimes it's kindness, or patience; in my case I idolized these people for their qualities....
Ken: kindness and gentleness
Cloud: courage and confidence
Aeris: innocence and humility
Asuka Langley Soyru: humor and all-around confidence
Rei Ayanami: quietness
John Rzeznik: this guy is just great. Nice, funny, tough, determined, and deep-minded lyrics.
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